We are NOT drywalling this week

Serves me right. I HAD to get all excited and proclaim the fact that drywalling was immenent. In fact the actual drywall is nowhere to be found, at least that is what the drywall guy says. I'm thinking, if this is your business, your career, wouldn't you make sure that you had drywall, or at least a source for it? Anyway, this entire week has gone by without a drywall srew being drilled, and I am heading home tomorrow and will not see any of the progress that I anticipated.

Meanwhile, here in Rice Lake, it's...well... very depressing. The houses are all these dismal little one story ranch houses. No character. And the big story this week is the opening of the Wal-Mart Super Center. The old Wal-Mart is now one more empty building. And the bookstore I worked at in High School closed down, because ya' know they sell books without the huge discounts. And the pool where I worked in High School has a big crack in it, so I guess it is closed for a while. Each time I come back here I remember why I was in such a hurry to leave. DEPRESSION. Even the beautiful fall colors and crisp days can do little to combat the desperation this town emotes. I suppose it goes without saying that I was a drama queen in high school too.

Seven Months Pregnant

I can barely remember what being seven months pregnant was like. But, I'm pretty sure that is about where we are with the house. You look ready to lay down and have that baby right where you are, but there are still 2 looong months ahead. Months filled with the hurried preparations of a new baby. Weeks when you think, "Let's have this baby already!" Similarly our house looks pretty well done, the changes are small and incremental. But can't it just be finished, seriously. We are in a mad rush of picking out carpet, appliances, cabinets, tile, EVERYTHING that goes into a new house. And we are doing it by committee, which can be very time consuming. Just like with Nora, there are things you have to buy, necessary, expensive things...crib, car seat, diapers and then there are those lovely little non-essentials that make having a baby worth it, clothes, shoes, toys, bedding. The house is the same way. Bathtubs must be bought, but what kind of fixtures are all a matter of taste (and budget). This state of expectation and excitement is dampered by the long weeks ahead, weeks of setbacks, rain, bloating, and constant peeing. And with my track record, seriously overdue!

Hopes and Dreams

I've been thinking lately about what I hope for Nora as she grows up. Do I hope that she finds her passion, of course. But, what are the ramifications of that. I mean wouldn't we all like to "pursue" our passions? But how does that pay the bills? I would love her to be a ballerina or a artist or a writer, but what if that means that she'll be broke and, and, not able to buy expensive handbags? Then again, what kind of parents wants their child to grow up to be a financial analyst, not the kind of parent I want to be. I mean what if being artsy means that she is living with us until she's in her thirties...that is just too awful to think about. I guess this is coming from me evaluating my own choices in life. There is nothing like a neighborhood meeting to really distill all your life choices down to their essence.
"So, what do you do then."
"Um, actually right now I work part-time at the university for benefits, but I have my master's in children's literature."
"Really, what kind of books do you write?"
"I don't write, but I have graded papers for the univeristy class on Children's Literature."
"Oh, so you teach."
"Ah, no. Just grade papers for the professor."
Meanwhile, the monthly payment for my student loans is due.

Rainy day

It is a lovely rainy day today. The kind that make you want to bake and drink cocoa, read a book, and curl up with a cat. The rain that is charming after months of sunshine. And the kind that is perfect for working in an office, listening to the Garden State soundtrack and looking out at the gray sky, which incidently is just what I am doing right now.
I can only have this attitude because I don't live in a studio with my only child sleeping in a room under the house. Instead I belong to that set of society that lives in more than one room, and has their children sleeping in a room down the hall where they can peek in at them at any moment.
The house is being insulated today. It might only take one day, but let's say it takes two, we'll still be starting drywalling this week. WE'LL BE STARTING DRYWALLING THIS WEEK!!!! After that is finished, we paint, put in flooring, order kitchen cabinets, get tiles, basically get to all the fun stuff. And see what this place is actually going to look like. It is just so fucking cool I'm speechless.

Trading Spaces

We live in the big house now. Vic and Faye are in the studio. They insisted, no really they did, and who are we to tell them that living in a coverted two car garage is not really all that much fun. I mean, sometime you just have to learn by doing, right? And during this learning curve Alec, Nora, and I might as well live in luxury. Okay, in all honesty we owe to Nora, what a little trooper. She choose just the right time to learn to climb out of her crib, scaring the bejeezus out of her grandma.
Here's how it played out:
We spent two nights and one day in the studio before they returned. The transistion was not going well for me, refer to earlier post. But, Alec had faith that in time it would be fine. Nora seemed bored with the small space of the studio, I believe I also commented on that fact in my lament. I expressed these feelings to Faye and she was sympathetic, but didn't really know what could be done. Then Nora woke up from her nap and Faye and I went down to get her. She was not in her crib. She was on top of the table that is next to her crib, fists full of toys and appearing to be returning to her crib. In other words we caught her at just the right moment. I'm not sure how long she'd been getting in and out of her crib, but the morning before, I had come in to find her sitting in a basket, tipped over and pinned to the side of the crib. I did wonder at the time how she managed to reach that basket as I was sure I had put it well out of range. But, that seemed like an insignificant question when what I was really wondering was how the hell she got herself sitting IN the basket, it was tiny.
(Personal References: Brandy: it was the basket that the Zingerman's stuff came in. Ali: It reminded me of the picture of Beave in the basket when she was a kitten.)
SO once we realized that Nora was getting out of her crib, it seemed like a natural progression that she would open the door and go roaming about the yard in the middle of the night, that is until she ran into a coyote. Faye was thus determined that we should move into the house and they would endevour to live in the studio, which anyway is much bigger than the Spanish pensionnes they had just been staying at. Like I said, who are we to dissaude them. We've been sleeping in the new digs for two nights now and I don't know about anyone else, but I think this is going to work out fine.

Trying to readjust

I don't want to go back to studio living. In fact, it may even be that I CAN'T go back. It s-u-c-k s, hard.
For one thing, we don't know how much longer the house will take 2 months, 3 months, more? It appears that it is anyone's guess. I just can't hold out over the rainy season again. Today, was our first full day back in the studio and Nora is not into it. It is far too small and boring to hold her attention and she threfore spends her energy on getting into everything that is off limits. That leads to battles of will, and crying and tearing of hair, mostly mine. So, what do we do?

Our only option is to stay in V&F's vacation rental. It too, is small, but at least there are different rooms, and a back yard, and close to downtown. I'm not sure how much rent they'd want. More than what we are paying now, no doubt. Plus if we are down there, it isn't as easy to work on the house (whenever that will happen) or for Faye to babysit Nora. But, the privacy and kitchen are strong draws for me.

I'm trying to stick it out, but at some point you just have to fold, right?

House? Yes, please.

The corner of doors
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

There are doors and windows in our house. And a roof too. And boxes of flooring that we sill someday walk on, I think. I hope. Thanksgiving?
Though no one is working on the house this week and the netflix disc 2 of season four of Six Feet Under was broken, I'm in a pretty happy state.
Seeing the house get further and further along is just amazing. I can't wait to unpack my boxes and move the hell in! We are trying to plan the kitchen cabinet layout right now. Course, it takes a back seat to painting tongue and groove boards (56 of them), showing the Donze rental, finishing up Faye's design job, and oh yeah, taking care of Nora. Also, playgroup on Tuesdays, CASA on Thursday, and AAAGGGHHH, how did I become busy MOM person. I'm going to go watch TV for 15 minutes before I have to leave for work. Bye

Chocolate Chip Pancakes

Nora'sChocChipPancakes1
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

I honestly have very little to say today. A very long weekend, but since we're over at Vic and Faye's I took this opportunity to upload so cute ass pictures from their computer. This was a few weeks ago, but we made pancakes this morning too. Click on the headless pictures on the flickr site, once you do her head magically appears.
By the way, I'm thirty now.

When Toddlers Dress Themselves

When Toddlers
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

Vic and Faye left for Spain yesterday, for a month. I thought we'd just move right over there, that was the plan anyway. Then I realized how much I like my stuff. And their house feels big and dark and kinda cold even. Funny, I really like the warmth and coziness of the studio. But, today I started moving our stuff over there. Mircowave, toaster oven, and some food. I still need to move some clothes, and ultimately my Tivo, which means I really am committed.
The house is moving along very well, I almost can't believe that we will be moving in all in a matter of months. I don't even remember what all we have in storage only that we can get along with very, very little.
Watching the Hurricane survivors cope with the aftermath I'm struck again and again at how impermenent THINGS are. How much energy is spend in acquiring them, caring for them, and ultimately in saying goodbye to them. Yet, I take great joy in shopping, it is hard to reconcile the two sentiments.

Good Morning my dear house

South side of House
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

The shell of the house is pretty nearly done. Done enough, that we had a "topping out" party on Saturday and it was lovely. Lots of people involved in the making of this building were in attendence, from the guy at the planning dept. to the 80-odd year old structual engineer to the contractor and the electrician (who had wired up the house that very morning). Building a house is so very like having a baby. And since cetain people keep waiting for signs of when I"LL next rent my body to a developing person, this is our new baby #939. So this was our baby shower. And, today we have an ultrasound, that is a nailing inspection. I hope we pass and can move onto the next phase.

We've ordered the flooring for the upstairs and the bathrooms. Bamboo! I got it for a steal online 2.64/sq ft. We'll be installing it ourselves. We've been making all kinds of Important decisions about the #939, we feel a little like genetic engineers. Have you noticed that I've used the word "engineer" twice already? Must be working in the Chemical Engineering dept (there's four).

Vic and Faye leave for Spain in one week. So, we'll be moving over there for the month of Sept. which means that anyone wishing to visit, is highly urged to consider September as optimal visiting time...especially since I'll be turning 30 on the 14th and might need a little support.

That's my baby

That's my baby
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

Yep, she has my jeans, I mean genes. This was on a recent visit to Macy's. AND that shoe was from the sale rack. I quite literally couldn't be prouder of her. I wonder when she realized that shopping was fun. Was it those cold February and March days when the only possible place to stroll was Cambridgeside Galleria? Or was it the two weeks in Paris that included no fewer than 12 trips to Galleries Lafayette? Okay, she may have been groomed for this particular proclivity. But, if I've had this much success with shopping without really trying, just imagine how easy ballet is going to be!!

BTW Nora really is the cutest girl in the world.

Thank you Eunice

For introducing me to someone I feel I have know for EVOR.
Dooce.com
This woman is awesome. Not only is she MY age but her daughter is only 8 days older than Nora. Weirdness. I had heard of her website from Annie, but never really checked it out. Then last night Susan intrigued me enough to check it out. And that is how obsessions are born. It is like that person everyone keeps telling you you would love and then you finally meet them and yep, pretty much they rock.

I apologize myself for the misunderstood.

This line is from an email from an author. The authors that I "speak" with come from all over the world and many of them count English and a second or third language. As such, lingistic jewels are commonly found in unassuming emails. I have decided to start a list. So far, I have the above, as well as:
Thank you for the following email of you.
and
I can revise our paper thoroughly without anxiety.

I think that last one is my favorite. Wouldn't we all like to revise thoroughly? without anxiety? I know I would.

In other news, I had simply the best time EVOR in Boston. A taste of the old days, pre-parenting. I stayed out late, slept in, and got a wonderful haircut. Back in SB, the house is coming along. The contractor is optimistic that we'll be in the house by Thanksgivig, so long as we don't mind a few plumbers et al hanging around. Uh, no.
I hope to have pictures of the new developments soon...can you second floor!

Old photo New comment

NOT getting her way
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

So, this is the "most viewed" photos on my flickr photostream. I find this interesting. But, I thought I would update everyone on Nora's evolution from this photo to the present in terms of behavior when someone uses the N word. In this picture, clearly, she is in the mode of "pity party". Shortly after this stage she moved onto the "inflicting pain on the user of the word" stage. This included (but was not limited to) biting, pinching, hitting, and headbutting. After a particularly stinging pinch I told her very sternly no and then proceed to tell her how much that had hurt. She appeared sympathetic and even made the frowny, crying face with tears. For the most part she has curbed her outburst againt others. It gave way to the "self hurting" stage. Which I have to admit, as a parent, is more disturbing that her hitting me. When she hears No she either hits herself in the face or pulls her hair. Though the pediatrician says it is good for her to hit herself, I can't help but think of Rainman. I mean, HELLO doesn't that hurt! I know it hurts actually because you've done it to me. Recently, she has started to transition away from the self-inflicted variety of frustration and into inatimate objects, like what ever it is she is told no about. ie my computer. or her doll. I'm not sure this is progress.

Work continues a pace

DSCN0490
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

is apace one word or two. Anyway, as you can see there is more than just a whole in the ground. In fact this is our downstairs. We hope to see some upstairs this week!
In other news, I am coming/going to Boston (depending on who you are). And can't wait to see all my friends. Here's the itinerary:

Wednesday July 27th, arrive in BOS at 9:30pm
Thursday July 28th, Institute from 5pm on...
Friday July 29th, Institute all day and possibly the evening too.
Saturday July 30th, Institute all day and possible the evening too.
Sunday July 31st, Institute brunch in the morning and free in the afternoon and evening.
Monday August 1st, Free all morning and afternoon, flight leaves BOS at 5:41pm
Yeah!

Family photo

Family photo
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

We miss travelling. It was so nice to spend time together as a family. This is one of the few photos we have of the whole family. It was taken on the roof of the Galleries Layfayette (one of MY favorite places in Paris).
Now that we are home the routine of life has firmly settled in. Work, cleaning, eating, errands, and all the rest of the stuff. Of course, the construction of our new house keeps things interesting. Speaking of which, I am going to upload some pics of the progress.

Post sickness

New/Old stroller
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

I've been really ever so not well.
Sinus infection, days in bed watching Law and Order, NYPD Blue, and Buffy. But, now I am feeling much, much better.
I went to the doctor on Tuesday morning and although it was a severely shitty experience, I got some antibiotics and am now feeling less not well.
Except for that pesky little "secondary infection" you know the one I mean, the one that is reserved for the ladies...
So I am three weeks into the new job and it is going well. I like the work, location, and in a month or so I will like the paycheck. It is funny not seeing Miss Nora as much. But, I think I will get used to it. Also it helps me to appreciate the time we do have together.
I leave for Boston on Wednesday! Can't wait to see everyone and have a loverly time on my own!!!!!

On my own at the UCEN

With the Mom
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

Well, nostalgia strikes again. I am currently sitting in the UCen or University Center at UCSB using on of the crusty old terminals. I am waiting until 6:15 when the students in the Children's Lit class finish their midterm and I can gather them up and tote them home to grade with haste. (I will be doing the same thing with their papers at the end of July when I go to Boston for the Institute). Being on campus now though feels so different. I think it is because I am now a career employee, in other words I belong here. Some how I always seemed to know that I would end up working for a University. I guess I thought it would be as a professor rather than as a administrative assistant. C'est la vie. It suits me fine right now. Especially the benefits. Here is the problems with the benefits, though the problem is not specific to UC benefits. I want to have my next baby (NOT in the oven, by the way) as close to possible as I did in Cambridge. The short version: NOT a prayer. The hospitals (2) do not perform VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Ceserean) which doesn't directly affects me, but lets me know the general tone of the doctors and hospitals here: Consevrative. There was apparently one or two doctors that worked with midwives up until a short time ago when something happened during a home birth. Apparently the midwife involved was run out of town and the rest are a bit gun shy. I know that there isn't a Birth Center like in Cambridge, but I would ideally like as little to do with a doctor as possible. Still, I don't want to have the baby at home either. Basically what I am saying is that it suck that there are so little options for birthing in a supposedly liberal state like California. And, since my labor was so short last time round (and sencond babies typically arrive in half the time) travelling doesn't really seem to be a viable option. What to do? Oh, and any doctors that still use a midwife don't seem to take any insurance plans.

In other news, my job is going very well. I like my co-worker, I'm learning the ropes quickly, and I enjoy being away from home on a regular basis. I can't wait to get a paycheck, woo-hoo!

The house is still behind schedule, no surprise there. But, everyday that there is no one working makes me very, very crabby.

Nora with Lake

Nora with Lake
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

This photo is from the balcony of Edith's house in Lugano. If it wasn't for the heat, it would have been perfect. Although with the heat the only possible thing to do was to visit the Lido. It is kind of like a beach club on the lake. There are also pools, kiddie pools, diving pools, swimming pools, and the best fries we've ever had. It was so relaxing to be here, especially with Edith. I can't wait to return some day.

Fun at the fountains

Fun at the fountains
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

We're back.
And yes, that last post was the worst possible day. I'm all better now.

Tomorrow is 4th of July and we plan to go to the beach for the fireworks, if Nora can stay awake that long. I love the fireworks here they are unlike anywhere else.

I've some new photos on flickr, but I am still too jet-lagged to come up with anything interesting to say.
Sorry.