Monday, February 12, 2007

Motherhood, take two


Mom and Ben
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.
Mothering the second time around is really great. Of course there is more work involved because the older one does not cease to exist just because there is a new baby in the family. But it feels like we are a Family, not just a couple with a kid. And because we've already mourned our "life beofre" we don't have the same issues with knowing that dinner out begins at 5:00 or 5:30. And that our netfix nights can only begin after 8:00. But mostly it is amazing to have an older child with such personality and to look at this little baby and realize that he will have a personality too. What is he going to be like? A simple question, but one I don't mind taking years to answer.

He is a good boy. And having a boy is really different than I thought it would be. I knew I wanted a little girl, because I come from a family of girls, my closest friends have always been girls; I know girls. Boys on the other hand, I just don't get. They are loud and they don't talk much and their clothes are not nearly as exciting. But, there is something else about them...something I can't really put into words. I guess I'm talking about the Mamma's Boy phenomonon. When I look at him I know that he loves me just a little bit the most. Kind of like how Nora loves Alec differently than she loves me.

Right now both of them are asleep and the feeling is amazing. Sort of like the freedom I felt when I got my driver's license and was out in the car by myself. Stealing time from whatever I was supposed to be doing to do something I wanted to do. And kind of like the triumphant feeling you get when you complete a complicated brain teaser, like "I hoped I was competent enough to accomplish this, but I wasn't sure until it was all done." Like any great feeling, it is fleeting and they are both due to wake up at any minute (but Alec should be home any minute too!) Victory!!!!

1 comment:

meeralee said...

Excuse me, but I think it's time for more Benjamin photos.