schizo much

Just wanted to point out that I recognize the up and down nature of my moods as evidenced by recent posts. I could blame it on the hormones, but that is like saying that you only said something because you were drunk.

Motherhood, take two

Mom and Ben
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

Mothering the second time around is really great. Of course there is more work involved because the older one does not cease to exist just because there is a new baby in the family. But it feels like we are a Family, not just a couple with a kid. And because we've already mourned our "life beofre" we don't have the same issues with knowing that dinner out begins at 5:00 or 5:30. And that our netfix nights can only begin after 8:00. But mostly it is amazing to have an older child with such personality and to look at this little baby and realize that he will have a personality too. What is he going to be like? A simple question, but one I don't mind taking years to answer.

He is a good boy. And having a boy is really different than I thought it would be. I knew I wanted a little girl, because I come from a family of girls, my closest friends have always been girls; I know girls. Boys on the other hand, I just don't get. They are loud and they don't talk much and their clothes are not nearly as exciting. But, there is something else about them...something I can't really put into words. I guess I'm talking about the Mamma's Boy phenomonon. When I look at him I know that he loves me just a little bit the most. Kind of like how Nora loves Alec differently than she loves me.

Right now both of them are asleep and the feeling is amazing. Sort of like the freedom I felt when I got my driver's license and was out in the car by myself. Stealing time from whatever I was supposed to be doing to do something I wanted to do. And kind of like the triumphant feeling you get when you complete a complicated brain teaser, like "I hoped I was competent enough to accomplish this, but I wasn't sure until it was all done." Like any great feeling, it is fleeting and they are both due to wake up at any minute (but Alec should be home any minute too!) Victory!!!!

Babies, Toddler, and two cats

The "o" face
Originally uploaded by jegoffin.

Hello. We have a lot of beings in our house. Who would have thought that adding one new baby would have had such a exponential effect on our family. Suddenly, the neediness of the cats and nora and myself are amplified. What was left of y me time has been drastically reduced and I find myself getting mad at the smallest things. For example, Nora has this new baby Einstein CD (actually I think it may have been a gift to Benjamin) and it is awful. The music vaguely resembles classical music but with synthesizers. Yuck!!!!!! I bought Nora a CD with far better classical music on it that is played on actual instruments but this morning she insisted on the crappy version. I got so pissed because I am so sick and tired of doing what she wants. TV: winnie the fucking pooh or bambi. Music: she'll be coming round the mountain or baby fucking Einstein. If we're inside, she wants to go outside, if we're outside she wants to go inside. And I won't even go into the food issues. Basically, I'm running on very little sleep and I feel like a milk dispenser and I want to go to Target and get lunch with a friend and maybe see a movie. Simple little things really.

Sorry, just need to whine a bit!